"Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed."Howard Nemerov
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Four Strength-Based Keys to a Rewarding Life
By Dr. Mike Shery
Nurture a Strength-Based Consciousness
Your most valuable
traits are those that predispose you to have a deep
satisfaction with your life, instead of just transitory
pleasure. Chris Peterson, a professor of psychology, devised the
Values in Action (VIA) test to measure one’s five top strengths.
The list comprises 24 attributes that strength-based
psychologists have discovered are valued across cultures.
They have started to analyze the data from 110,000 individual
tests that have been logged online. Their preliminary findings
are fascinating. For example, those that score the highest on life
satisfaction surveys seem to be people whose top five strengths
are: hope, the capacity to love, the ability to be loved,
curiosity and gratitude. The most common strengths among
people seem to be curiosity, love, fairness, open-mindedness
and appreciation of beauty. The smallest amount of test takers
had strengths in the temperance category: self-control, prudence
and modesty. In some surveys, this strengths test has been rated
as very useful and one that seems to stand the test of
time.
Optimism-Saturated Days
To nurture positive feelings about
the present and the
memories of happy times in the past, the
ability to “savor” is
thought to be important. One psychologist,
Dr. Martin Seligman,
“creates” the “perfect day” or “perfect
half-day” for clients by
using their unique talents and
strengths in the scheduling of
enjoyable events. For example, if
your main strengths involve a
love of sports, you might include
watching a game or even
reading a book about a sport or player
that you like. If the
capacity to learn is at the top of your
list, you might register
taking a continuing education class or
a particular workshop
that has garnered your interest.
Bring Gratitude to the Foreground
Pessimists typically don’t perceive
that the glass is
half full, only that it is half empty. This
trait suppresses
positive feelings and predisposes the pessimist
to dwell on
misfortune and to put a negative “spin” on things.
Dr. Seligman emphasizes that gratitude should
be deliberately cultivated, which, studies confirm,
will increase one’s life satisfaction.
To do this, he tells his clients
to write down three good
things that happen each day. For each item, he
directs them to
also note what they did to make them happen. He
says that, over
time, deliberately bringing the positive side of
things from the
background to the foreground makes putting a
positive
“spin” on
everyday incidents almost automatic, making
it harder to discount one’s positive contribution
to them.
This, over time, seems to transform one’s
usual pessimism into optimism and
depression into enthusiasm.
Talk Back to Thoughts that ‘Rain on Your
Parade”
Disputing negative thoughts fights
off feelings of
depression when misfortune strikes. Dr. Seligman
maintains that
many people already have the skills to dispute
coworkers or
family members who may criticize them unfairly and
when negative
thoughts fill their heads, these same people
should view them
the same way; as external, somewhat automatic
critics who always
tell them how wrong they are. This healthy
view demands a clear assertiveness.
He advocates use of the
A-B-C-D-E model which
maintains that (A) you first consider the
adversity you’re
facing and (B) then examine the critical
automatic beliefs that
arise about your situation. For instance,
are these thoughts or
beliefs unreasonably pessimistic or
critical? Then, examine
the toxic consequences of these
thoughts and follow by (D),
disputing them to yourself, just
like you would any person who
was trying to talk you into
feeling bad. Over time, this
process tends to interrupt the
cycle of pessimism and
despondency which afflict many people.
Remember, talk back to these thoughts which are trying
to “sell” you on feeling bad about yourself, just like you’d
talk back
to any person trying to do the same. Your thoughts
“talk” to
you and you must be assertive and “talk back” to
them! This process creates energy (E) that enables
you to take
on the problem and the
negative feelings that follow. Argue a
case against your pessimistic
intruder just like you would do
with any intruder who was trying
to “sell” you on something
destructive.
_______________________________________
____________________________________________
Reprint Instructions
Box: Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety as long
as you leave all links in place, don’t modify the content and
include the resource box as placed.
__________________________________________
About the Author
Dr. Mike Shery specializes in consulting to long term care facilities
regarding mental health.
His website,
WWW.NursingHomes.MD,provides state-of-the-art
mental health treatment,staffing and career
information to LTC professionals. Get a copy of
the special report, “How
Strength-Embedded Psychotherapy Can
Reduce Resident Agitation,”
by clicking drmike@nursinghomes.md. Put “Special Report” in the subject
field.
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